absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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