I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
