HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
