Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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