I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
