Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
