Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
