adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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