any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
