So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
