She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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