I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
