I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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