my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm getting married
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.