Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom