Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets

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  (631): im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/3y00
  Replies (65) Good night (8355) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Since when do you wear a bracelet?

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs

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  (508): Since when do you wear a bracelet? (603): Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs http://tfl.nu/cgne
  Replies (11) Good night (5843) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  god you guys know how to party

  (650): View more from California

  worst. bachelorette party. ever.

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  (650): we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed (505): god you guys know how to party (650): worst. bachelorette party. ever. http://tfl.nu/3oqx
  Replies (16) Good night (1191) Bad night (7077)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship

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  (401): Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship http://tfl.nu/zpw1
  Replies (12) Good night (1189) Bad night (3600)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me

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  (720): If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me http://tfl.nu/f7dp
  Replies (8) Good night (3317) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.

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  (276): That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go. http://tfl.nu/61yn
  Replies (3) Good night (500) Bad night (1357)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.

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  (502): I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true. http://tfl.nu/qsda
  Replies (8) Good night (2610) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all

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  (651): So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all http://tfl.nu/5r9b
  Replies (2) Good night (793) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  we need a secret handshake

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  (616): time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night? (1-616): we need a secret handshake http://tfl.nu/i0zy
  Replies (7) Good night (1640) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.

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  (541): k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating. http://tfl.nu/iql3
  Replies (1) Good night (609) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.

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  (602): Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party. http://tfl.nu/kcfz
  Replies (1) Good night (433) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari

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  (205): I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari http://tfl.nu/g3b8
  Replies (3) Good night (1092) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.

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  (901): This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis. http://tfl.nu/kmqs
  Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.

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  (727): I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER. http://tfl.nu/hytb
  Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in

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  (678): So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in http://tfl.nu/805f
  Replies (2) Good night (723) Bad night (244)

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