this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize