I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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