I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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