HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
