Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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