I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
handjob tips. give me some.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
