How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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