i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
