I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
