Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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