I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
