if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
