I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
