That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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