Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
