guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
