Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
