i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation