I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
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I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
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Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up