they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
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Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
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Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?