I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
