Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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