your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Randomize
