just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
nutella sex= disaster
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
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It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
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I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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