My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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