that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
