i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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