it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The uberlube is also flammable
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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