I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
