Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize