It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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