oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
