You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
