i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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