Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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