so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
