we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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