I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
