Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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