Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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