i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
The ass gains better be worth it
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
