Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
