Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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