maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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