So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize