He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
