it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
