The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
someone owes me an orgasm
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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