i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
