why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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