im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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