I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
