so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize