I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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