There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
